hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
