my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
