wakey wakey hands off snakey
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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