so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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