I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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