gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
