i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
