people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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