Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
