How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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