This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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