Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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