sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
