its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
