i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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