Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
