And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
