Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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