How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
