I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
