Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I can't turn off my feet"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
