just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
