just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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