alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
