Do you still have your period?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
