Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
This house was built for laser tag.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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