i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
