I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
