Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
