stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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