so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
