I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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