I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
