I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
