this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
