if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
