remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize