my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
