i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
