Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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