dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
