The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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