im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
