She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
