Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
sarcasm needs its own font
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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