8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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