So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I need to stop coming to work sober
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
