1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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