I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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