How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
